I'm coming to you from the frontlines of H1N1, the bug that stole the past 5 days of my life and ruined what was supposed to be a romantic weekend getaway with my man. Eff you, Swine.

Last Tuesday, I went to bed with a tiny tickle in the back of my throat. I woke up Wednesday morning with an aching body - the kind where even your hair hurts - and a persistent hacking cough. By the next morning, it was clear that I was man down. Or, woman down, really.

And enter...Swine Flu.

As a survivor of the dreaded H1N1, I have a little secret to share with you all. This is pretty hush hush...you're not going to find this on CNN or Fox News, so read the next sentence very. carefully.


The Swine Flu is....


...THE FLU!


My only tip-off that this was likely H1N1 was the cough. The cough that kept me up for an entire night (incidentally, the night spent in a super swank hotel in 800 thread count Egyptian cotton). The cough that went away for hours and then returned with such a venegeance that I thought I was going to literally hack up a lung. The cough that even Buckley's wouldn't touch.

My hair has hurt before. I've hacked until I gagged before...this was nothing new. Of course, I've been lucky enough to avoid the flu for awhile so this was a longer span than usual away from the office for me, but that was just good sense. I'm not one of those people who tries to look like a hero, or a really dedicated employee at least, by showing up at the office sick as a dog and hacking all over their co-workers. I loathe those people. Those people are why the rest of us get sick! At least, those of us without tiny germ-mongers kids.

I did not get the vaccine. I wasn't planning on getting it, even if I were allowed to get it, which I'm not (not being a child, pregnant or elderly). Me and my iffy immune system took it on and we won.

The romantic getaway was a bit of a bummer. We had a great afternoon/evening and an AMAZING room to lounge around in (photos will be forthcoming), but as soon as I tried to go to sleep, the cough kicked in and did not let up until 5:30 a.m. Awesome. So, I spent the night on the couch in the living room, watching The Shopping Channel (I hate Snuggies) and trying not to wake Kurt up from his peaceful slumber. Oh well. We have another little getaway planned for the weekend before we both fly home for Christmas, so fingers crossed that Kurt will remain Swine-free and we'll be able to enjoy that one a bit more.

So, I survived the Swine. And I'm better for it. At least, my immune system is.